USA : Suicide d'un ado harcelé au collège

Jamey Rodemeyer, 14 ans, a rejoint la longue liste des adolescents qui n’ont pas supporté d’être constamment agressés parce qu’ils sont gays. Selon le site du Buffalo News, le jeune homme de Buffalo, dans l’État de New York, a été retrouvé mort dimanche dernier (Lire Teenager struggled with bullying before taking his life : http://www.buffalonews.com/city/schools/article563538.ece). Il s’est apparemment suicidé. Sur Tumblr et Youtube, Jamey a évoqué à de nombreuses reprises le harcèlement dont il faisait l’objet. Il a même fait sa propre vidéo It Gets Better, intitulée «It gets better, I promise» – «Ça finit par aller mieux, promis».

Très ému, Dan Savage, l’initiateur du projet It Gets Better a réagi sur son blog: «Il semble que Jamey ait été aidé – il voyait un thérapeute et un assistant social et sa famille le soutenait – mais cela n’a pas suffi. Toute l’aide qu’il a pu recevoir n’a clairement pas été suffisante pour contrer la haine et les agressions subies depuis la sixième, d’après ce que l’on sait, ou les craintes de Jamey d’avoir à endurer toute une nouvelle palette de harcèlements quand il irait au lycée l’année suivante».

«CEUX QUI L’ONT TOURMENTÉ DOIVENT RENDRE DES COMPTES»

Le journaliste s’en prend ensuite aux agresseurs de l’adolescent, décrit par sa mère et ses amis comme un garçon d’une gentillesse et d’une douceur extrêmes: «Ceux qui l’ont tourmenté doivent rendre des comptes – pas être harcelés à leur tour, ni jugés ou poursuivis, mais ils doivent rendre des comptes pour ce qu’ils ont fait, pour leur haine, pour le mal qu’ils ont causé. On devrait leur demander s’ils sont «BIEN plus heureux» [référence à un message sur Formspring qui disait à Jamey que tout le monde serait bien plus heureux s'il mourait, ndlr], maintenant, s’ils sont contents d’eux-mêmes, et s’ils ont quelque chose à dire à la mère de l’enfant qu’ils ont réussi à harceler jusqu’à ce qu’il en meure».

Autres réactions, celle de Perez Hilton, qui a qualifié la nouvelle de «déchirante» ou celle de nombreux anonymes sur Tumblr, où le jeune homme tenait un blog.

FAN DE LADY GAGA

Jamey Rodemeyer était également fan de Lady Gaga. Il affirmait même dans une vidéo qu’elle était «la raison pour laquelle, [il était] en vie». Sur son Tumblr, l’un de ses derniers messages était justement un extrait des paroles de la chanson The Queen: «Don’t forget me when I come crying to heaven’s door». Ce qui se traduit par: «Ne m’oubliez pas lorsque j’arriverai en pleurs à la porte du paradis».

Jamey Rodemeyer needed help. At 14, he was grappling with adolescent demons that could torment grown men.

And when he was online, he wrote about it.

"I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens," he wrote Sept. 9. "What do I have to do so people will listen to me?"

Just over one week later, Jamey was found dead outside his home of an apparent suicide.

In the months prior, he routinely blogged about school bullying and thoughts of suicide in between upbeat posts about his pop star idol Lady Gaga and the ordinary types of teen rants typical for kids his age.

On Sept. 8, he wrote: "No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you're the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down."

He put up a separate post that day letting everyone know it was National Suicide Prevention Week.

Then he posted the lyrics to a song by Hollywood Undead:

I just wanna say good bye, disappear with no one knowing

I don't wanna live this lie, smiling to the world unknowing

I dont want you to try, you've done enough to keep me going

I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time

On Saturday night, he posted a lyric from Lady Gaga's song "The Queen" on his Facebook page: "Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door."

Then around 1:30 a.m. Sunday, Jamey posted two final messages to his main public Tumblr blog. One said he really wanted to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, and one offered thanks to Lady Gaga.

That was his last entry.

"He touched so many hearts, so many people," said his mother, Tracy Rodemeyer, who met with some of his grief-stricken friends at Williamsville North on Monday. "I didn't realize how many people he touched. He was the sweetest, kindest kid you'd ever know. He would give all his heart to you before he gave any to himself."

Olivia Rinaldo, an eighth-grader at Heim Middle School, said she was drawn to his outwardly upbeat and extroverted personality. He made friends of the friendless, she said.

"He was always putting people first," she said. "He always wanted other people to smile, even on the worst of his days."

Jamey did have bad days. Issues of bullying and even suicide talk were not new to many of Jamey's family or friends. They were common topics for him and seemed to ramp up to an extreme level when other students started making taunts with gay references to Jamey about 12 months ago on his Formspring account, which permits anonymous posts.

"JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!" read one post.

Another read: "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it It would make everyone WAY more happier!"

Other posts were similar, but friends also came to his defense.

"Don't listen to cowards on here Jamey," one friend responded.

Another wrote: "Um. Jamey is amazing and it doesn't matter if someone's gay or not. Everyone loves Jamey, and if you don't then you obviously didn't take the time to get to know him."

Rodemeyer said her son had questioned his sexuality for the last year or so, and some of his classmates used those issues as an excuse to say horrible and malicious things about him.

Friends of his reported the message posts to the Heim Middle School guidance counselors, she said.

Even before then, she said, Jamey was emotionally troubled.

"He was totally against bullying," she said. "He has had issues since fifth grade. He had suicidal tendencies back then."

He also had friends. Olivia said she thought even the male bullies at Heim Middle School became more accepting over time.

But high school meant facing off against a new set of peers.

"We sat him down multiple times and said, 'What's going on?'" his mother recalled.

Jamey denied that anything was amiss, she said. In fact, when the family went to its usual camping spot this past weekend, Jamey seemed happy. Even taunts from peers didn't seem to phase him.

"He used to cry about it, be sad and angry," Rodemeyer said. "But lately, he's been blowing them off, or at least we thought he was."

Given Jamey's prolific writings and raw commentaries online, could someone have intervened sooner and saved him?

"Of course, I'm not going to say enough was done," said Jamey's mother.

But he was seeing a social worker and therapist, she said.

Williamsville North Principal Petrina Neureuter sent a letter home with all students Monday informing them that Jamey had died. Members of the district's crisis team from both North High and Heim Middle School were also at the school.

"We make it apparent to the kids that there's help all day long and in the days to come," said Dale Bauer, a licensed school social worker and clinical social worker at North.

Jamey is the second Williamsville North High School student known to have committed suicide since 2010. Joe Chearmonte, a junior honor student, died in February of last year.

When a new school year starts, Bauer said, the high school counseling staff meets with the middle school counselors from North's two feeder middle schools to discuss the needs of incoming ninth-graders.

Counselors then make it a point to try to stay in touch with the kids who are considered to be at higher risk, she said.

But There are limits to what a school can do, she said. Despite the extensive counseling staff at North, she said, no one routinely checks the online posts of troubled students.

"We really encourage kids not to use those sites if they're having a hard time because it just aggravates the situation," she said.

The school is not a mental health clinic, she said, though it has licensed counseling staff, offers some services and makes outside referrals.

"The school can offer these services, but we can't force students to partake of them, and we're only one piece of the puzzle," she said. "It's really a question of us all working together."

This year, Williamsville has partnered with other districts to offer a depression and suicide awareness program out of Williamsville South High. A panel presentation will be offered to all parents Oct. 25, she said.

On a larger scale, adults worldwide have recognized the crisis facing adolescents and teenagers struggling with sexuality.

Last September, the "It Gets Better Project" was launched online as a place for adults -- including high-profile celebrities -- to reassure troubled and potentially suicidal lesbian, gay and bisexual youth that despite the taunting, bullying and physical abuse they face as adolescents and teens, life improves after high school.

In May of 2011, a fragile-sounding Jamey posted this YouTube video with the description "Jamey From Buffalo, New York telling you, IT GETS BETTER!" In it, he said that despite the bullying and messages of hate he's been subjected to, he's also gotten an outpouring of support from friends and strangers after he "came out."

"Love yourself and you're set," he told viewers after chronicling his torment in school. "I promise you, it will get better."

The It Gets Better Project has since grown by leaps and bounds since its inception. It offers numerous resources and a pledge that others can sign promising to "provide hope to lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens." The homepage is itgetsbetter.org

stan@buffnews.com

Gay Iowa Teen Takes Own Life After Bullying
By Julie Bolcer
KennethWeishuhnx390 (Screengrab) | Advocate.com

Kenneth Weishuhn, a high school freshman in Paullina, Iowa, took his own life Saturday after being bullied by classmates at school and online, and with death threats by phone.

KTIV reports on the death of Weishuhn, who was 14 and attended South O’Brien High School in O’Brien County. His sister Kayla said that friends at the school “turned on him” after he told them he was gay last month, and boys in her sophomore class started the bullying.

“She says they took their teases online, to websites like Facebook, creating a hate group against gays and adding Kenneth's friends as members,” according to KTIV. “However, it was only the beginning, family say he started receiving death threats from South O'Brien students on his phone.”

Kenneth’s mother Jeannie said he “blew off” the phone calls when she asked about them, so she thought things were ok. She said that the high school students were given a warning, but she never heard from the school.

KTIV reports that the school has opened an investigation.